Helen [REDACTED] (adminamod) wrote in teufort,
Helen [REDACTED]
adminamod
teufort

A FESTIVE BATTLE ANNOUNCEMENT

TWO DAYS UNTIL YOUR NEXT BATTLE.

I've changed my mind. We will in fact battle again. And I am not giving any of you any paid vacation time. You will just have to work through the holiday and suck it up.

You'll receive your orders for this next fight via private messages. It has taken me a long time to write out each of your separate instructions, so you better appreciate them. Ho. Ho. Ho.
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Oh, I can barely contain myself.
No vacation pay? NO VACATION PAY!?

BAH!! Ye know what Laday!? I can see why the lads aroond 'ere are so afraid o' yeh. WELL GUESS WHUT!? I'M NOT AFRAID O' SOME CRUSTY OL' HAG!! An ye' can take yar vacation pay, AN' YER dirty shower cameras AN' YE CAN SHOOV EM SO FAR OOP YAR CRUSTY OL' ARSE THAT ye'll...still be lookan' fer em' come NEW YEARS!!! COS YER' THE BIGGEST Grinch I evar did meet! An' no one's stealin' MAH SMISSMAS FRUM MEH!!

*hic*

One, that camera is not mine. I have already discussed this matter with your Medic. Two, I am willing to bet that I would be capable of hiring a whole army of men to come upon you in the dead of night and shove innumerable amounts of deadly explosives into your colon without you even suspecting it. Considering that you are passed out half of the time, this would be no difficult feat.

Perhaps if your team defeats the BLUs again, a Christmas bonus will be in consideration. As long as you silence your whining and moaning about having to work on Christmas, that is.
HAA!! Ye can go right ahead...BUT'CHA AINT KEEPIN' ME EXPLOSIVES AFTER I'M DEAD!!

In fact, I'm gunna use all o' em' oop in this next battle just to be sure o' that! An' if there's any left after that, I'll give em' to the...the...the short one with the hat! The SOLDIER! An' he'll hide em' all ovar the place! An' by the time ye, ar' anyone else finds em'....KABLOO-AY!!

Come ta think o' it...I should drink all me booze, too! Aye! This'll be a bloodeh war indeed, by the time I get done with it.
WHAT THE FUCKIN' HELL LADY!?! NO VACATION PAY!?! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WE ALL WORK SO FRIGGIN' HARD OUT HEAH WHILE...WHILE YOU JUST SIT THERE IN YAH CHAIR AND PAINT YOUR CRUSTY OLD NAILS..No vacation pay my ass....
Keep your bellyaching up and you won't be paid at all.
You already said we ain't getting paid so...what's the diff?
...

I said I will not be giving you paid vacation time. Since you have never held down a job before, that translates to this: if you were all to go home for Christmas, you would still be paid. Frankly, I do not see the point in this. I am not going to pay you idiots to fly off to where you live and embrace your loved ones and generally loaf about. I would rather see you all fighting here and actually earning your wages. And if you complain that you have to still work on a holiday, I will take away your pay.

But then again, just for annoying me with your ignorance, and since you seem to be indifferent to receiving any sort of compensation in the first place, you will not be seeing a cent worth of money this week. Merry Christmas or Smissmas or whatever you prefer to call it.
Look Granny, you'd BETTER pay me because I've had my ass shot at with guns, arrows and all kinds of other shit that you don't have to deal with on a daily basis got it? If you don't I sweah Imma come over there and pulverize you to a old soggy pulp!
I have the tapes that prove you have not been killed that much or that often. Horsing around and loafing about out of bounds with the, ugh, friends you have made in this warzone is more like it. Plus you have also wasted your time posting indecent photographs of your own mother in your computer logs. I have really taxed you to your physical and mental limits, haven't I? That was sarcasm, it case you could not detect it.

You are still not getting paid this week. Would you like to go a whole month without a paycheck? I am very ready and very willing to do this.

And you had better watch that mouth of yours before I order your Medic to medically stitch it shut.
Stitch it shut? You'd DO THAT?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!
If you would like to find out if I'm joking or not, you can always continue to irritate me.

That's now two weeks without paid time for you. Go ahead. I could do this all night.
As very amusing as it is for me to see you 'ang yourself like zis, (And it is. I am especially enthused wis ze idea of 'aving your mouth sewn shut.) out of respect for your mo'zair, I feel zat I should tell you to stop your fucking whining and shut ze fuck up.

It is quite apparent zat unless you are black, physically 'andicapped, or an alcoholic, you 'hold no power, and your opinion means no'sing. If you were, well, obviously you could get away wis calling ze Administrator a crusty old 'ag to 'er face, (not to mention become intoxicated on ze job and blow 'oles in ze walls.) wis no consiquences. But since you are not any of zes 'sings, nor am I, ze slightest miscommunication could cost you your entire pay cheque. Unfortunatley, zis is ze way ze world is going zese days.

But zis is ze only word of advice I will ever give you, as a colleague and, as I said, because I'm sure your mo'zair would appreciate it. Do not expect me to go easy on you in battle. I am not your fa'zair. And I do not blame 'im for wanting no'sing to do wis you, ei'zer.
AY!! Ye' quit yar fookin' bellyachin', lad! I could be gettin' us a Christmas bonus, so long as the rest o' yew arseholes don't fook it up an' lose the battle!

OHHH, AYE! How very hard ye' poor white men must have it these days! BOO-HOOOOO! I feel SO sary fer ye! Did YAR people get dragged outta their native land ta pick cotton fer a bunch o' rich ingrate bastards!? THEY DIDN'T NOW DID THAY?! SO SHUT YAR STEWPID BRITISH MOUTH!!

(OOC- This could turn into a long debate with myself, so I should probably just go to bed. XD)
No, she vouldn't do zhat. I vould do zhat. Gladly. And it's starting to get to zhat point. So in ze spirit of Christmas, I'm asking you politely to shut up before you dig us all a festive, paycheck-less hole.
Alright! Alright! I'll shut up....ya bastards.
Well lookit this! It must be Christmas!
No sooner do Oi arrive then we have a battle.
Oi'm lookin' forward t'this...
Thanks fer the annoucement, ma'am.